Just Another Chat with Jim

Wow, where do we begin? It’s been an interesting off season, which appeared to come to a head – let’s be honest, a breaking point - recently. What are your thoughts?

Well I tell you what, my thoughts at this time are really centered around one Coach Frank W. Beamer. Jammy, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this, but Virginia Tech always has great Special Teams play. I’m not sure we have an answer. I know we have Arenas, but that can’t be enough. If we lose the coin toss, it’s over.

In the now infamous called vote of June 25, your vote was automatically cast in the column of Meelum. You never indicated one way or the other. Was your vote counted correctly?

I did not vote, therefore my vote could not be counted correctly. Are we in Cuba or something where people “automatically” vote? I will reveal this to you. I voted for Dr. Hugh Cort for President in 2008. He was going to really do some things. I was looking forward to Mexico becoming the 51st state.

He was the only on that could keep the White House safer, so his commercial - which only ran on FOXNEWS - led you to believe.

Will there be a Team USA this year?

Does a Jew enjoy the 8 days of Hanukkah?

You could always just ‘make a few bets’, huh?

Yes, we sure could do that. That would be fun. We could also put on a coat and tie and eat Lobster Stew at The Beach Club with Lt. Governor Jim Folsom.

Team Europe Captain Burnett seems to have found a little sumpin sumpin in his golf bag, posting a little 75 at EAST from the blues is impressive. By my calculation, if revisions were today, he’d be a 9.6. Is that good or bad for Team USA?

I think this is exactly what we want. If Brian ever gets down to his True Handicap, which is about 7, we will have a chance against him. The only other way to stop him is to play him on aerated greens so he can’t have his usual 12 one putts from just outside of 24 feet.

You’ve been playing well recently, yourself. Have you made any changes to your swing?

Thanks for noticing. Yes, I decided that I needed to lengthen my back swing and swing harder, so I’ve really been working on that. It’s starting to pay off…..not on the scorecard yet mind you, but the striking is getting there.

You got a new driver at the Regions Charity Classic Pro-Am, and rumor has you’ve been KILLING it.

I traded that driver for a Titleist Vokey Design 64 degree wedge and a pack of grape Now or Laters.

Oh, nice. I love me a Now or Later every now or later. I go banana, though.

How was playing with Dr. Gil Morgan?

First of all, he is a Doctor, but come to find out he does not currently practice as a Physician. He really just sticks to the golfing. Nice man. Big hitter. I liked his caddie, who he called JoJo.

I hear that Bernard Langer has a couple of daughters. Did you see them?

Seine Töchter wurden so heiß, dass wurden explodieren würde.

Back to the Kiva Cup, Europe won 8 – 7 last year. A good showing by the USA, just not quite good enough. What does team USA – assuming there will be one – have to do to finally break Europe’s winning streak this year?

We have to stop Richard Dalton Huguley, Brian’s one true Cup guru. I know we say that every year, but it’s true. The other key to Team Europe is, of course, The Doctor.

I think if we go in loose, with nothing to lose, that will help our attitude. Finally, Skiba needs to shoot 76 every round. I’m getting excited just thinking about it. I think I’ll pull out my Kiva Course guide video tonight.

Any final thoughts?

Are we staying at the ATL Hyatt Regency this December or do you want to make it a day trip? You know I really don’t like to drive back after the game.

We'll stay where ever Coach Saban tells us to!