Team USA at The Goose

Four members of the collaboration known as Team USA played at Goose Pond in Scottsboro, Alabama this past weekend. They played the Colony course, or the OLD course, if you will.

Captain Hartsell, Assistant Captain and Captain-in-Waiting Skiba, Team Secretary Jammy, and Team USA newcomer Zac Efron Ward were joined by Team USA Junior League member JERRRdan for a nice round of golf on a glorious Saturday in August.

The discussion with the pro shop attendant was only semi-heated when he questioned Captain Hartsell’s “we’re going to have 5, actually” declaration.

“Five on a weekend”, returned the obviously putoff gentleman.

“I talked to the pro yesterday and he said it would be okay”, responded Jim.

“Well, the pro ain’t here, so you can tell me whatever you want to tell me. I’m here. He ain’t. I have to deal with all the back-ups and crap.”

“I TELL YOU WHAT. IF WE HOLD ANYONE UP, WE’LL LEAVE THIS COURSE.”

“Well, I don’t want you to leave, I want you to play golf. One adult and one junior, and some balls. That’ll be 62 dollars.”

That’s right. One adult, one junior, one bucket of balls AND cart at Goose Pond is something ridiculously cheap, especially given that their greens are in 10 times better condition than Limestone Springs or EAST right now.

Any way, after paying, off we went to the driving range. We were there for about two minutes when it was announced that we were up next. The Goose Pond marshal runs a taut ship.

Jordan puts a strike on his tee shot on the 13 hole.

In a flurry of matches, Skiba/JERRRdan took on Jim/Jammy, Skiba/Zac took on Jim/Jammy, Jim took on Zac, and, in a step out from the norm, Zac took on Skiba.

The first three holes were unremarkable, except that I was only two over after them. The 365 yard par 4 4th ranks as the 2 hardest hole on the course. I hit 4 iron off the tee to the center of the fairway, then 4 iron to about 10 feet. (get used to seeing a heavy dose of 4 iron off the tee, Euros). Mark hit 4 or 5 iron off the tee, and then something like 9 iron to about 7 feet. Everyone else was kind of out of the hole. I roll my putt in for birdie (NET ACE). Mark rolled his putt in for birdie (NET EAGLE), and lost the hole. That doesn’t seem fair, but the handicap system was developed so that golfers of all skill levels could compete against each other on a level playing field.

Not much else really happened, except Mark making a bunch of birdies, until the par 5 15th. Zac hit his drive dead solid behind a pine tree. What happened next is still sort of a mystery, but somehow, Zac closed down a 6 iron, took a 1/6th hack swing, and punched the ball to the back of the green.

Jammy remembers, “I was standing in the middle of the fairway waiting to hit my 3rd shot. When Zac hit the ball, I saw it pass in front of the trees about 18 inches off the ground. My eyes then shifted to the pond in front of the green, where I figured the ball was going to end up. I never saw a splash. Zac looked at me and asked where the ball went. I told him that I didn’t know. We looked at Mark and asked him. Bewildered, Mark said, ‘It’s on the back of the green’. We looked past the flag and, sure enough, there sat Zac’s ball.”

That is the kind of Dalton/Burnett type shot that no one on Team USA has been able to pull off in the Kiva Cup. Zac hits those shots like they’re break away layups.

Zac went on to two putt for birdie to win the hole for Skiba/Zac.

Also on #15, JERRRdan rolled in a nice little 15 foot right to left breaker for par on a very long par 5. Nice work JERRRdan!

So, we go to 18, a 362 yard par 4 ranked as the 5th hardest hole on the course, which means I get two strokes. Skiba/Zac are 1 up heading to the last hole. I hit driver off the tee, then a 9 iron that flies over the flag and rolls about 4 feet off the green. Mark hits driver, sand wedge to about 12 feet. Zac hits driver, pitching wedge to about 20 feet. Jim sprayed his drive to the right, then hit his second shot somewhere. I’m not sure. Jim was caddying at that point I think. JERRRdan hit driver, hybrid, 9 iron to about 10 feet.

Skiba holds his finish on the 156 yard par 3 13th
at Goose Pond Colony (Old).

After surveying my shot and realizing that there was no way that I could putt the ball through the clump of crab grass between me and the hole, I sprint back to the cart to get my 8 iron. I go first and chip my ball to within 12 inches of the cup. The par (net eagle) putt is conceded. Zac misses his birdie putt and taps in for par (net birdie). Jerrrdan rolls his par putt to the right a little, then taps in for bogey (net birdie). So, it comes down to Mark. He asks for the match standing, which in summary was, “make the putt, you win. Miss the putt, we halve.”

Mark surveyed his putt, stood over his ball, and then – for the fifth time during the round – calmly rolls in the 12 footer for birdie (net eagle) to halve the 18th hole and secure the 1 up victory for team Skiba/Zac.

Someone in the group behind us had a hole-in-one on the par 3 13th. He was all smiles about it in the grill afterward. I think he appreciated us playing five in front of his group. It made him slow down a little.

All in all, a good day at the Pond. Skiba came in with a little 70, Zac had 84, Jim 93, and Jammy 94. JERRRdan trimmed 10 strokes off his front 9 score of 58 to finish the day at 106. His back 9 score of 48 was one stroke better than mine!

Next up, college football season. I don’t foresee much golfing being done in the near future.